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New in Theaters – 8/31/12

30 Aug

Lawless

Lawless is the true story of the infamous Bondurant Brothers: bootlegging siblings who made a run for the American Dream in Prohibition-era Virginia. In this epic gangster tale, inspired by true-life tales of author Matt Bondurant’s family in his novel “The Wettest County in the World”, the loyalty of three brothers is put to the test against the backdrop of the nation’s most notorious crime wave. — (C) Weinstein

Scott’s Take

This prohibition-era drama featuring Mr. Badass Tom Hardy and Shia Labeouf and from the director of The Road looks like it has the potential to kick some major ass.  there were reports of a feud between Hardy and Labeouf on the set of Lawless and Shia claims to have kicked Tom Hardy’s ass. I know this site isn’t the National Inquirer, but doesn’t that last sentence really make you laugh?  I’m all in on Lawless!

Steve’s Take

I’m good to go on this one, but with there being zero chance that my wife will see it with me, I’m going to have to tag along with one of my boys to see it! Scotty – that could mean you big boy.

The Possession

Based on a true story, The Possession is the terrifying account of how one family must unite in order to survive the wrath of an unspeakable evil. Clyde (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and Stephanie Brenek (Kyra Sedgwick) see little cause for alarm when their youngest daughter Em becomes oddly obsessed with an antique wooden box she purchased at a yard sale. But as Em’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, the couple fears the presence of a malevolent force in their midst, only to discover that the box was built to contain a dibbuk, a dislocated spirit that inhabits and ultimately devours its human host. — (C) Lionsgate

Scott’s Take

This supposed true story about a possessed Jewish box that latches on to a little girl looks like it has the potential to do some damage in the scare department.  I will believe it when I see it.  Is it me or has pretty much every horror movie released this year been white-hot garbage? Cross your fingers.

Steve’s Take

This trailer follows the typical horror movie trailer. Slow build-up, gets louder and louder, and right before they show something that is supposed to be scary, it goes silent. This looks like it can strike some fear into some, but it will likely do just ok in the box office the first week as those people who want a good scare two months before Halloween will be going to see it. Let me know how it was.

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

It’s Schluufy’s birthday, and the Oogieloves (Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie), along with their friends J. Edgar, Windy Window and Ruffy, are organizing a party. (Shh! It’s a secret.) Everything is going along just perfectly until J. Edgar trips and loses the last five magical balloons in all of Lovelyloveville–OH NO! The Oogiloves set out to find the magical balloons in time to save their friend’s party. Along the way, they meet some very interesting characters indeed, including Dotty Rounder (Cloris Leachman), Bobby Wobbly (Carey Elwes), Milky Marvin (Chazz Palminteri), Rosalie Rosebud (Toni Braxton) and Lola and Lero Sombero (Christopher Lloyd and Jaime Pressly). Can these new friends help them recover the magical balloons and get back to the cottage in time to celebrate Schluufy’s surprise birthday?

Scott’s Take

I have no idea what this is and to be honest with you, after about 26 seconds of watching the trailer, I cried.  I don’t know what those things are but I’m pretty sure I don’t want my kids watching them and giving subliminal messages that have something to do with stabbing me in the back while I’m asleep.  Steve has a toddler and if I find out he has anything that says Oogieloves on it, I promise you I will beat his ass.

Steve’s Take

This is one of the more disturbing trailers I have ever seen. That’s all I can say. Honestly.

For a Good Time Call..

The reserved Lauren and the irrepressible Katie are polar opposites… and past enemies. But when both come up short on the funds needed to afford their dream New York City apartment a mutual friend re-introduces them and they reluctantly agree to room together. These apartment-mates have nothing in common – until Lauren discovers that Katie is working as a phone-sex operator, and recognizes a good business opportunity. But as their business partnership takes off, their newfound friendship finds unexpected challenges that may leave them both, as they say, hanging on the telephone. — (C) Focus

Scott’s Take

For a Good Time Call looks like nothing more than rental material.  It’s not that it looks bad. On the contrary, it looks pretty funny.  It’s just that with the Oogieloves coming out this weekend, I don’t feel it’s safe to go to the movies.  I’m thinking Village of the Damned type shit.  Maybe next week.

Steve’s Take

Why couldn’t this one have been made with hotter chicks in it? I’d see it – on Netflix.

The Day

A group of five survivors, armed with shotguns, axes and machetes, wander the back roads of a ravaged landscape looking for refuge in The Day, a terrifying look into a post-apocalyptic future. As war ravages humanity, destroying civilization and most of life on earth, the survivors realize they must do whatever it takes to stay alive. Lost, starving, and exhausted, they seek shelter in a seemingly safe abandoned farmhouse. However, while searching for food and resources, they unwittingly set off a trap signaling to their ruthless predators lying in wait to begin their deadly attack. With food and ammunition dwindling, the group must make a desperate final stand-over a 24 hour period-battling for their ultimate survival. — (C) Anchor Bay

Scott’s Take

I doubt this The Day will make it to a theater near you.  It has the look of a cheap B movie.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s on of those releases that you can find On Demand this Friday. That being said, I would take a stab at The Day on Bluray.

Steve’s Take

WWE Films = no go. I used to LOVE Shannyn Sossamon (because of 40 days and 40 nights) and now she goes and does this movie? Say it ain’t so!

The Tall Man

In an isolated, slowly dying mining town, children are vanishing without a trace – abducted, the townsfolk whisper, by a mysterious entity known locally as “The Tall Man.” Town nurse Julia Denning (Jessica Biel) seems skeptical…until her young David disappears in the middle of night. Frantic to rescue the boy, Julia lives every parent’s darkest nightmare in this twisting, shock-around-each-corner thriller from acclaimed director Pascal Laugier called The Tall Man. — (C) Image

Scott’s Take

About a year ago my wife showed me these creepy videos about a man in a foreign country that would stalk playgrounds and steal young children.  When I paused the video and played it over and over, I realized he looked exactly like Steve.  Only Steve isn’t tall.  He’s about 5’4 and has small hands that smell like cabbage.  if you get that movie reference, you are my target audience.  Seriously, the videos my wife showed me on YouTube were creepy as balls.  By the looks of this trailer of The Tall Man with Jessica Biel, it has absolutely nothing to do with the aforementioned urban legend.  Save your money and watch the much better YouTube videos instead.

Steve’s Take

Scotty – there is no room for Austin Powers right now. In all seriousness, can Jessica Biel even be hot in this kind of role? Yup!

Next Week

That’s all we have for this week.  Some of these releases are extremely limited, so be sure to check Fandango to see what is playing in your area. Next week we have The Words with Bradley Cooper and The Inbetweeners.  Have a great weekend!
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