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New in Theaters – 5/18/12

17 May

Battleship

Peter Berg produces and directs Battleship, an epic-scaled action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Inspired by Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane. — (C) Universal

Scott’s Take

I actually laughed out loud when I first saw the trailer for Battleship. My first thought was what is next..Chutes and Ladders? You know what happens when we start running out of ideas? We remake the same movies over and over and call it a reboot. I’m talking to you Batman and Spider-Man. You know what happens after we reboot the reboot? We make movies based on theme park rides. Hello Pirates of the Carribbean and The Haunted Mansion. Once the theme parks are done we have to make movies out of BOARD GAMES!!! Oye Vey!!!

Steve’s Take

This is going to do pretty well, no? I know that it is not the best idea or even the most unique idea, but it has a very good actor and a couple of hot women in it. Not to mention explosions and loud stuff for guys to enjoy even more. Enjoy it if you venture out to see it, but don’t be embarrassed to wait until it is out on Blu-Ray.

The Dictator

The heroic story of a North African dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed. — (C) Paramount

Scott’s Take

I was one of the few that thought Borat was completely overrated. I laughed twice in the movie and found it more repulsive trash than comedic gold. Bruno was ten times worse than Borat and one of the few times in my life I almost walked out of a movie theater. With that being said, I have much higher hopes for The Dictator. It looks more like a real movie. It doesn’t seem like a man put in strange situations to garner cheap laughter. I laughed more watching the trailer for The Dictator than I did in Borat and Bruno combined. Cross your fingers!

Steve’s Take

So, what else would you expect from a Sacha Baron Cohen film besides anarchy? This movie has some very funny parts and during other parts it is downright offensive! That is exactly what people who liked like Borat and Bruno have come to love about Sacha Baron Cohen. If you are not offended by anything you should go see this movie. However, if you are offended by jokes about abortion, 9/11 and cancer patients, you should stay away.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Over the moon about starting a family, TV fitness guru Jules and dance show star Evan find that their high-octane celebrity lives don’t stand a chance against the surprise demands of pregnancy. Baby-crazy author and advocate Wendy gets a taste of her own militant mommy advice when pregnancy hormones ravage her body; while Wendy’s husband, Gary, struggles not to be outdone by his competitive alpha-Dad, who’s expecting twins with his much younger trophy wife, Skyler. Photographer Holly is prepared to travel the globe to adopt a child, but her husband Alex isn’t so sure, and tries to quiet his panic by attending a “dudes” support group, where new fathers get to tell it like it really is. And rival food truck chefs Rosie and Marco’s surprise hook-up results in an unexpected quandary: what to do when your first child comes before your first date? — (C) Lionsgate

Scott’s Take

What do I expect when I’m expecting to go see this with my wife? You got it. Let’s say it in unison. Ready? Pure. Hot. Garbage.

Steve’s Take

Ditto.

Next Week

That’s all for this week. Will The Avengers stay at the top of the box office for a third straight week? Or will Battleship or The Dictator dethrone the behemoth? Next week we have Men in Black III and the Chernobyl Diaries. Have a great week everyone!

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